Breaking the Silence on Men’s Mental Health

This article has been written by our Head of Service Desk, Wayne Rafferty.

I grew up in a loving but strong minded family where men were expected to be the protectors, the pillars of strength who shoulder the challenges that life brings. In the era I grew up in, showing vulnerability or admitting to emotional struggles was often seen as weakness among peers. And although times have changed, many men of my generation still carry that belief that they must always show strength, resilience and stoicism.

But enduring hardship in silence can take a heavy toll, mentally, emotionally and even physically. I’ve been through difficult times in my own life, both personally and professionally. In trying to appear strong, I told those closest to me that I was fine when, in truth, I was struggling. Looking back, I realise that staying silent was a mistake, one born from the belief that men must always cope alone. This misstep drew me into one of the darkest periods of my life, from which I nearly did not return. It’s vital to seek support and not feel shame in your struggles.

I count myself incredibly fortunate to work for a company that truly values mental health and supports its people with compassion and understanding. I’m also grateful for my family and friends who have been there for me when times were tough, but sadly not everyone has this support.

To everyone, men, women and young people alike, please remember there is no shame in struggling. If you don’t have someone close to talk to, or if you feel uncomfortable opening up at work, know this... you are not alone. There are many wonderful support groups and organisations ready to help. And personally, I’m always happy to listen if anyone just needs a friendly ear.

Promoting Shared Responsibility for Mental Health in the Workplace

Mental health support in the workplace should not rest only on the shoulders of HR or management. While these teams play a crucial role in establishing and maintaining mental health best practices, every employee should be equipped with the knowledge and confidence to recognise when a colleague may be struggling.

Not everyone feels comfortable speaking to their manager or HR department. That’s why creating a culture of awareness and compassion across all levels of an organisation is so important.

By learning how to spot potential signs of mental health challenges, employees can help build a more supportive and inclusive environment. A small act of kindness, like offering a listening ear or checking in on someone, can make a real difference to a person who might be struggling silently.

Recognising the Signs of Mental Health Struggles

It’s not always easy to see when someone is going through a difficult time. Many people hide their struggles, often because they don’t want to be seen as weak or a burden. Still, there are small clues that can tell us when something might be wrong.

• withdrawing or isolating from others.
• noticeable mood swings or unusual behaviour.
• unexpected reactions or emotional outbursts.
• a lack of empathy or visible emotional engagement.

Being aware of changes in someone’s mood or attitude is key. Sadly, many men feel pressure to hide their emotions, pain or stress. When those feelings are left bottled up, they can grow heavier, sometimes leading to serious consequences both personally and professionally.

Finding Strength in Connection

Recently, I reconnected with an old school friend who started a local support group for men. It’s a safe space where we can share what we’re going through and support one another (and no, it's not at the pub!). It’s such a simple idea but so powerful. It reminds me how much strength there is when men talk openly, support each other and realise they’re not alone.

Dave Robinson, co-founded the men's mental health group. “As the years pass, it’s easy to lose touch with friends as life’s responsibilities and busyness take over. We often bump into people we haven’t seen in decades who were once central to our lives and wonder how we lost contact. Today’s culture of individualism and self-fulfilment, amplified by social media, only deepens that disconnection.

I've been on a five year journey, learning the value of staying connected with friends who listen, encourage, and support one another, often over good food and drink! This inspired us to create a regular, safe space for men to share openly and confidentially. It’s been an incredible journey of laughter, tears, insight, and growth."

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” - Proverbs 17:17

Doug Pavillion, co-founded group with Dave. “As a Prison Chaplain, I’ve met many men who’ve lost everything or are close to losing it all. Once surrounded by loved ones and life’s pleasures, they now face emptiness and despair when everything familiar is stripped away. Beneath their pain lie unresolved issues and unspoken struggles, reminders of how desperately we need safe spaces for men to talk before it’s too late.

Many share similar stories: broken families, failed friendships, addictions, or choices that spiralled out of control. It’s a stark truth that life can turn on just a few decisions. When darkness comes, we often ask, where or to whom do we turn? For some, despair leads to self-harm or worse, especially when they can’t reconcile their failures or losses.

In a world obsessed with privacy and independence, men often battle their inner demons alone. Yet the unseen powers of guilt and passion can destroy relationships, health, and purpose. That’s why it’s vital to have spaces that expose and address these struggles.

This men’s group is an invitation, to explore life’s deepest questions, confront inner struggles, and rediscover hope through honest conversation."

Changing the Narrative

Across the UK, men’s mental health has never been more important. The statistics are heart-breaking. In 2023, the male suicide rate in England and Wales reached its highest level since 1999, with men making up nearly three quarters of all suicides. But these aren’t just numbers. They’re fathers, brothers, sons and friends... people who might still be here today if they had felt able to say, “I’m not okay.”

It’s time to change that story. Let’s make vulnerability something to be proud of. Let’s create spaces, at work, at home and in our communities, where men can talk openly, where asking for help is seen as strength, and where no one has to face tough times alone.

Because sometimes, the strongest thing a man can do is simply talk. But let’s also remember that mental health everyone, regardless of gender. it’s important for all of us to stay open with one another and offer support whenever we can.

If you, or someone close to you, is in crisis or needs support, we’ve included some links to charities and organisations who we hope will be able to offer help and guidance:

• Andy's Man Club
• Campaign Against Living Miserably
• MANUP?
• Man Down UK
• Mates in Mind
• Men Who Talk
• Money and Mental Health
• Samaritans
• SANE
• Shout
• Turning Point

If you need support now: Call Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'SHOUT' to 85258 to start a conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.